So today is International friendship day. I always remember celebrating friendship day in August and many a time it coinciding with Rakshabandhan and the stale jokes of bhaiya saiyyan that went along with it.
Friendship and me are actually not very friendly.
I am generally not the one to make friends easily. Its with great difficulties I let people in my inner circle.I think as a kid , I ended up with other kids who were staying in the same colony or with kids studying in the same school. I strongly remember my dad taking my friend and me to school daily. We would pass a paanwaala and we would very happily sing khaike paan banaras wala , the hit Amitabh number.
Then we moved residence. From one colony to another and one school to another. Change is not easy for children and I remember very specifically my inabilty to make friends in the new colony. Though I went down everyday to play, the games were different, the language was different and the people were different. So i rarely participated in these games.
Once again we moved the very next year. My dad was transfered to the city of Trivandrum.
Once again change of residence and school.
This time round, we were in a bungalow and had to ourselves the company of other tenants in other bungalows. Thankfully there were two young girls just like my sister and me and a tiny little boy who used to live in the neighbouring homes. We used to be constantly in and out of each others homes and spent time making gun clubs, playing UNO , watching movies and other regular stuff that kids do. And as is probe to happen, we lost touch.Never did I make any attempt to connect either.
At school I did develop some good friendships and mind you all were only girls, because our conservative school, though coeducational did not permit boys and girls to talk.
To this particular school, I will be ever grateful for bringing into my life, my ever lasting friend, a girl with whom I have grown old now!
As I moved on in life through senior secondary school and college, many people came and went.
Some made no impact, some impacted moderately, some I have fond memories of and some I would rather forget.
College life is surely the golden time of life, when relationships are forged without care, when emotions rule roost and life looks magical. This part of life, especially when in a hostel is engulfed by classmates,roommates and hostelmates who become your anchors. As you sashay through the years, you lean on someones shoulder, you lend yours to someone, you laugh and cry together, you party and bunk classes, you prepare for exams and have breakfast , lunch and dinner together.
Real life hit me outside the campus.
It was no longer about the dizzy college friendship post that. It is always about bonding .
Marriage introduced me to a hearty group of friends. My husband had a very different trajectory with friendship. He grew up with his friends and they go back to over five decades now.
So his friends and their wives, we form a motley group that has been together for almost 25 years now. I met many people at my workplaces. Some stayed on to remain strong pillars of support.
All these people are an integral part of my life and my go to people at times of trouble. They taught me that you dont need friendship bands and songs to prove your friendship. All you need is a call or a message that says, chal milte hain...plan bana. Or in today's time..zoom call karo!
You dont need to feel the over rush of mushy cards and oaths of friendship. All you need is a message that says, kya hua..all good?
All you need is someone to whom you can say... I need to run away now. Help me. And you know that you can run away to a safe space for sometime to return to your daily fare.
While thanks to the internet, I happily reconnect with old friends, we all know life has changed and taken us ahead. We are different people now. While we cherish the past, we work on creating new memories.
Friendship today for me, is not about being available exclusively to the people I consider special but knowing that there are people out there who consider me special enough to take time for me, to communicate with me, to reach out to me and to just be there for me!
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