Dont raise your voice, better your argument.

 On his tenth birthday , my son demanded a geared bicycle. It was expensive. When we told him, it is not safe to buy such an expenvie gift as it could get stolen, he suggested we get him the foldable version. I told him such cycles are not available in India. At the end of the day he sent my husband and me links of shops where such cycles were availabe in Mumbai. He argued that a foldable one would be safe as we could park it in the house and not in the open.

That was an eye-opening moment for me as a parent. I knew if I had to reason it out with this young one, I needed my facts in place and very valid arguments. I went upfront to him and told him, that we couldnt just afford it. He would have to look for something cheaper. I gave him my budget!

This argument worked to his logical mind and he happily chose the best alternative available. This taught me:

Dont raise your voice, better your argument.

Commonly used in by lawyers, this statement is an equally powerful parenting statement. Children respond to logic. When they see a logical argument and it appeals to them cognitively , they respond emotionally.

As parents, shouting and yelling at your child is not going to work. Hitting, slapping and the very traditional punitive methods may scar the life of the child. Many adults cannot move past this childhood trauma.

But this nowhere means that we pander to all the demands of the child. Discipline is an attitude that can be instilled in the right way in the right manner.

Being physically or verbally loud to the child just gives the message that , actually I am powerless in this situation and the only way I can control you is to physically dominate you. Children get this message and begin to realise how they can play mind games with the adult.

So strengthen your arguement. Get your facts in place.