Campus Cheers

Bichde they hum zindagi mein kuch sapne aakhon me leke

Kuch ke sach hue, kuch ke badal gaye,

Kuch ne naye sapne saja liye, kuch ne purano ke dafna diye.

Kuch sapane tutke bikhar gaye,

Kuch shor macha gaye

Bichde then hum zindagi mein kuch sapne aakhon me leke

Kuch sapne badal gaye, kuch hum badal gaye!

When a motley group of 40- something traverse distances to relive the life that went past two decades ago, the result is sheer magic.

We all had left each other twenty years ago in May 1995. Each had travelled on in life. Further degrees, jobs, marriages, kids and worldly matters had hauled us to different parts of the world. 

Today we packed our bags and travelled back to meet those who had vanished two decades from our radar.

Today we travelled back to renew those memories that were tucked away in corners of our minds.

Today we travelled back to pause life for three days.

Anila, Neena, Anita, Reds, Shiva, Surendra, Kadhi and me formed the first gang.

On the train journey to Mysore, the instant chatter that began at 11.00 am and paused only when we alighted from the train. In two cars we headed to Silent Shores Resort and Spa. 

We checked into four mini bungalows.  This was just perfect. The open space outside the two rows of bungalows was so right for the gossip session post dinner.

 KRS was cancelled in favour of the college campus. No one could stop us from visiting the campus immediately.

And as we entered the campus with a flutter in our heart, we realised that the campus had changed. The English department building had more gates. There were more walls. The lobby had a huge roll of honour of all principals. We invited ourselves into the principal’s office. Dr Rao entertained us in the conference room and a good discussion ensued for the next half an hour.

We went to our classrooms; sat like students, behaved like juniors, then like seniors and spoke loudly of memories of each room. Each heart ruminated on so many other unspoken ones.

From there we walked into the canteen crossing the library. Sadly the canteen was closed. Proceeding to Ganga hostel we found that closed for renovation too. 

The Campus seemed to be speaking loud and clear: Change is inevitable. Do not look for what you left. Face what you see now. Life moves on.

With these thoughts we moved on to Ms.Prema Raghavan’s home. A beautiful couple in a perfect home, Mr Raghavan and Prema ma’am entertained us patiently for almost an hour. It was a privilege to meet one of the most influential person in our lives.

From there we went to meet N.S.Raghunath Sir, one teacher who helped us become the teachers we are  today. In a world that is as intellectual as he is, NSR ( as he was called in college) was strong as ever with the fire in his belly against corruption and mediocrity in academic life.

Contentedly, we went back to the resort. Post dinner, we brought the sofas out and all of us settled in the open air. Gossiping and chatting about how life has taken us, how we all are in good spaces and how we feel blessed about the chance life gave us to meet!

The next morning we were joined by Deepa Nair, Naveen and Ramkumar. Once again we headed to the campus. The call of the Campus was just too intoxicating!

We headed to that corner of the ground where we were subjected to the first few instances of ragging. The place where we were ragged by our seniors was now cemented. As we stood there taking selfie we met a present day student whom we promptly ragged. Madhu was sporting enough to humour us and even accompanied us as a photographer. On campus we met Harini, who now teaches at DMS. And did the teacher bunk class to sneak in some tea and biscuits at Kalpavalli! Once again all settled down to chatting. Every plan that we made was redone over and over again and finally we realised there is no time to do much but head to the city and have lunch. So as we dropped Harini and left the campus, we heaved a sigh of contentment.

So we manoeuvred our way to RRR, a favourite haunt during the heavenly days of college. Ramkumar now bid goodbye to us and we herded ourselves back to the resort.

We went back to the resort only to welcome Sona and  Gangamma who joined us for dinner. As we bid goodbye to Gangamma and her family, we realised that the group kept growing and diminishing as the two days progressed.  People joined us, spent time and went away. We went on like a river embracing all who came along. We watched with pain and tears when people said bye. We rejoiced with those who remained.

Girls can spend a whole night gossiping and girls will be girls, irrespective of their age! We, girls spent the night, till FIVE a.m chatting and gossiping. We gossiped about what we knew, gossiped about what we didn’t, gossiped about each one in class, in college and gossiped about ourselves. We disclosed long hidden stories, heard unheard stories, and shared concerns about classmates, husbands and children. We shared fears and worries, cheered our victories and triumphs and refused adamantly to sleep! We savoured every minute of the journey. We hung on to every moment so that the memories last a life time.

When we boarded the bus to Bangalore, we hoped that this time round life doesn't make us wait another twenty years. 

The dust has settled. The hangover is gone. The humdrum of routine has set in. The memories are ever alive for me to cherish and hold close to my heart.

The Liberated Woman

Over the last three weeks, I read two novels: 

Aavarna The veil By S.LBhyrappa (Originally in Kannada; Translated into English by Sandeep Balakrishna) and Sita's Curse: The Language of Desire by Sreemoyee Piu Kundu.

Aavarna published in 2007 deals with religious fundamentalism in the background of an inter -religious marriage. Lakshmy, a Hindu girl marries Amir, a Muslim boy. She feels the marriage personifies her progressive thoughts. On Amir’s request she converts into a Muslimand takes the name of Razia. This begins the breakdown of the progressive Lakshmy. The death of her father, twenty years later brings her into conflict with herself and the rest of the book deals with her search for her real identity.Is she a Hindu, a Muslim or just a human being? Her search confronts the pages of history that have been covered up so long in order to create the illusion of secularism in this country. She pens a novel that is banned.  

Sita's Curse: The Language of desire, published in 2014 deals with the desires of a girl Meera. Meera, who is taught how to behave like a woman, finds her surroundings frustrating and often takes respite from the monotony of her daily routine in sexual escapades. These range from incestuous, with her brother Kartik, to lesbian, with her friend Binal to heteresexual, with the stranger by the river, her husband, Guruji, the dance teacher and Yosuf. Meera faces her inner self questioning her existence, very ironically when Mumbai is submerged in the ravaging floods of 26th July. Mumbai never faced a more severe torment. Meera never faced a more severe breakdown.  

Both the books have women protagonists. Both women are strong and confident. One seeks knowledge to liberate herself. One seeks sex. Razia seems to have a nonexistent sex life, especially after her husband pronounces talaq and remarries. Meera seems to have a nonexistent knowledge life. The only references are her going to school and years later taking up English classes

While Razia goes back into history in her quest for her true identity, Meera veers on casual internet sex and enters into a real sexual relation with a virtual partner.

Both seek love and affirmation from their partners. But do not get it. Razia is damned if she is progressive, dammed if is not. She is thrown out her community for not following her beliefs by her own father while Amir disowns her when she begins to ask him difficult questions about his religion. 

Meera is damned if she speaks her mind, damned if she follows her heart. She is charged of not being able to conceive a child when she knows this is due to husband’s shortcomings. She is charged of being a whore when she has male admirers. 

What set me thinking was the presentation of both the women. Why these two aspects of a woman life- education and sex never present themselves simultaneously? Why is one oblivious of the other? If Razia was more sexually active would she be less progressive in her thoughts? If Meera was more educated would she be less liberated than she is now? 

The stereotypes that we have of educated women being almost sexless... and a sexy women of being a bimbette. 

Razia is equally hungry for sex as is Meera.

Meera too has a curious mind that gets fulfilled by learning computers, internet and chat sex.

Razia leaves her family in search of herself.

Meera walks out of her home in search of herself. 

Is the liberated woman only about being educated?

 Is the liberated woman only about being aware of her sexual desires? 

Is the liberated woman only about living for themselves? 

Is the liberated woman only the one who leaves everyone to search for herself?

Is the liberated woman, the one next door, who educates herself, who works in the economic market, who updates herself, who looks after her family, who is active sexually without being apologetic about it, who lives each day realizing that her search begins each morning and ends each night? 

Who is the liberated one? Sita? Meera? Razia? Lakshmy? You? Me? 

Dance Dance

The countdown begins
A week  away from the arangetram of my daughter, I reminiscence of the journey that led me here. As a young girl dance always fascinated me. I loved bharatnayam.  And growing up in a tam brahm family pursued it for some time. But the focus soon shifted to academics and carnatic music. Dance was washed away under the various other tides of time.
Circa 1997 my daughter enters my life. Like any other mother I enrolled her into the nearest bharatnayam class.....more as a ritual. She was enjoying those classes. But the class shut down and I was hunting for another class. My mother found out about Smt.Anjana who conducted classes in Vakola. So I march there and get Ashwini enrolled.
She begins the training and thus embarks on a ten year long journey.
An annual day from the class every year, Sunday classes, and once a year annual exams.
All seemed mere routine and I never for once had thought it would become her passion.
With her I grew. .to be more open in my thoughts. ..to be aware of options life offers...to be able to follow my heart.