The Onion

 Mine being a typical tam brahm family, the family had found a chamathu payyan for me for kalyanam. Little did I know that I was enegaged to a life size onion. 

Having grown up outside Mumbai, I didnt know much of the place. So the few evenings Onion  and me met, we went to a near by restaurant called Verandah. The other reason being the timeline set by my mom. Everytime we went out, my mom would insist on me being dropped back by eight p.m. Considering that Onion  would reach only by 7.p.m , that's the best we could manage. Onion would complain, who goes home by eight? I leave home by eight! 

During these outings, he would constantly brag about the wonderful places in town! He casually enquired if I have ever eaten non veg food. I told him that I did taste some fish from a few hostel mates, but never went beyond it.

So finally we decided on a full day outing with a movie and lunch in town.

Post the motorcycle ride, before the movie , we went for lunch to a resturant. The restaurant served sea food. My curiosity was piqued. This is a non vegetarian place. Yes, he said. If your trust me, I will ensure you have the best lunch, he said. Ok, I quipped, I guess I have to trust you, considering I decided to spend the rest of my life with you!

There was a lot of hustle in the restaurant.  He knew the waiters by name. They fawned over him like he was their blue eyed boy. He ordered a beer and I ordered lime juice. 

I asked him, you drink beer regularly? Not really, he said, just when I want to have something light! Little did I know that beer was light when conpared to his staple Old Monk Rum! 

He ordered chicken biryani and some fish curry. But this was just layer one of the  Onion.

Halfway through lunch, Onion vanishes amd doesnt come back for a good ten minutes. This is the pre mobile phone days. I am stuck at the table, wondering where he has gone. 

Then I see him chatting with the manager and smoking a cigarette. The next layer  is peeled. 

Onion is a pattar who drinks , smokes and eats non veg food. 

Post the movie, Onion gets philosophical and says , this is the real me. I am a pattar by birth, but I am this guy. I smoke,  drink and eat non veg. I love to party and  stay out of home late night. I dont wear the poonal. Nor do I follow all religious stuff. I pray in my head and not at temples. 

What do you have to say?

What did I have to say? 

My parents picked up a chammathu pattar  payan  whose horoscope matched mine. His credentials were checked by other family members and duly stamped amd certified. But here he is confessing to a lifestyle that is wholly different and as non pattar as can be. 

What did I say?  I know for sure I am in for a lifetime of adventure. I say, Chal bike start kar. That backseat is now booked forever!